maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize