Swine flu. Run for my life!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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