4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
