I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
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I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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