I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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