This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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