just come out here and I will go home with you...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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