I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
