I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
