I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
