She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
In America we eat man semen.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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