I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize