I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
