What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
