If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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