; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Will you blow on my dice?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...