I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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