what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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