She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
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She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
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I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
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Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful