put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
soo... how was my night?