Where is the hickey?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?