why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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