why didn't you poke me back
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
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Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
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I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?