I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill