a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
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The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
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I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!