new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.