i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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