yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I've blown a few things in my day
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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