hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
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She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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