So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
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i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
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Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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