My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.