Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.