The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize