You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
