We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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