This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
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why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
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there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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