Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize