She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Houston, we have a squirter
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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