i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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