sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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