he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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