Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
