i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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