Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
farters have to be the big spoon...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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