The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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