K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm getting married
To pizza
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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