its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
