I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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