I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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