Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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