meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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