I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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