oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
