he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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