You're my little dorito
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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