did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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